I've been looking for ways to disagree with people, without seeming dismissive or demeaning. For whatever reason I often see things differently from others which often is quite tiring. For a long time I viewed it as my responsibility to make sure that my "true" opinion was being supplied into the conversation - almost as though I would be doing a disservice to truth if I kept my mouth shut. More times than not, this just led to further arguments and a greater divide.
Originally my biggest concern was with the whole "everyone deserves respect" thing - which made me question whether suggesting someone may be wrong could be done while still respecting them. This obviously led me to separating the person from their ideas - - something that is so rarely maintained publicly. Because we have become so attached to our ideas - when someone disagrees with them, they are disagreeing with us - and therefore attacking us. This isn't just a philosophical conclusion - if you watch people (me included) you can see physical reactions to their ideas being confronted and challenged. Speech quickens, hands fidget, logic blurs.
The thing is - if we are going to honestly pursue truth - we have to foster an environment where it is okay to have wrong ideas - as long as when they are proven as such - we unhitch ourselves from them and pursue truth. Since we are often emotionally tied to our ideas, to the point where they often become part of our self-identity - accepting that the idea is invalid is quite difficult. Few of us have probably never "lost" an argument - - which is a testament to how ineffective our modern approach to dialogue is. Our culture draws thick lines around what we believe. Whenever one of these lines is proven to have been drawn outside of reality - we shame that person - causing them to thicken the line, rather than erase and redraw. This further broadens the divide between individuals - and between our society as a whole.
We no longer have much of a "group identity" - and that's a shame. Now, I'm not suggesting that everyone just hop on board to everything that I think is true (that would probably be tragic) - - but what I am suggesting is that we seek for a group identity founded on the honest pursuit of truth, rather than the pursuit to convince the world that we are right.
The problem is that most of us at this point are probably thinking that we already do this - but we don't, I don't. When someone brings evidence against my position I either dismiss it immediately or challenge the source - I never accept it straight away. These two reactions are opposites regarding the pursuit of truth. Because of the dishonest and logically incoherent approach of so many "news" sources and studies - to honestly pursue truth we must question and challenge the validity of all sources - both those which support us and those which prove us wrong.
I would love to be part of a society that would collectively pursue truth even when the result is the requirement to reevaluate and update our own views. I am a strong supporter of honoring all people. As human beings created in the image of God, we are inherently deserving of honor. I don't believe that respect is inherent. Respect must be earned and can easily be lost (please take a second to review the definition of "respect" if this sounds weird). We must be willing to withdraw respect from those who stand behind positions not founded on fact and truth. If someone is willing to relentlessly hold to positions and ideas that are not able to be supported with truth and that stand in the face of critical thinking and reasoning - we must still honor the person while simultaneously withdrawing respect for them. Be mindful - this is different from disrespecting them, because disrespect is devoid of honor.
So honor - don't respect - but don't disrespect. Fight for truth - fight against dishonest, illogical and unfounded positions.
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